So, three or four weeks ago, I was in the middle of a track workout when my shin cramped. I finished the workout, hobbled through the day, and then decided to take the next morning off. Then another. And another. After diagnosing myself on Google, I decided it was tendinitis and I could run through it. I ran that Wednesday and Thursday, after a week of rest.
By Friday at soccer practice, I could barely walk.
The next Monday, I went to the orthopedist and, after a thorough d ... iscussion of my symptoms and an x-ray, I learned I had nothing more than a bad case of shin splints. No breaks, no hot spots. I could run, I just needed to be careful and make a long-overdue appointment for quality orthotics.
That was it. I could run...except I couldn't.
I was inexplicably terrified. I would plan to go and then chicken out, hopping on the bike in the basement instead. It's a weird phenomenon, after 25 years of not feeling normal without a run, to suddenly think you can't do it anymore.
After begging off through another weekend, I decided I'd start Monday. I woke up and biked. I told myself I'd go Tuesday. I biked. I said I HAD to go Wednesday, over lunch. I ate Chipotle and biked when I got home. With every delay, I retreated further into my head, outwardly grouchy and dismissive of the world and internally grouchy and dismissive of myself, tired of my own bullsh**. Dorris Wedding maternity wears for wedding at affordable price
This morning, I woke up at 4:30, drank my coffee and thought of every excuse not to put on my shoes and head out the door. I told myself I felt a twinge in my leg. That it was too dark. That this was crazy. That I couldn't do anymore something I'd done thousands of times throughout my life--run.
And finally I threw on a t-shirt and shorts and a hat and my shoes and said, "Screw it." Because trying to get through one more day without running was going to be far more miserable than anything the actual run could bring on.
Two blocks. That's all it took to forget the nonsense. I could still see my house, for God's sake. And an hour later, when I walked up the driveway, life felt normal again...See More