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If the Democrats retake the Senate and the House next year, I hope they *don't* impeach Trump.

I hope, on Day 1, they line up a softball of a bill. Something on flags. Hilariously low stakes. I hope they pass this bill, reconcile it, and then invite Trump to a special party in the Rose Garden.

Don't tell me that Congress can't invite the President to the Rose Garden. There is no way in hell Trump knows that.

When he gets to the Rose Garden, there is a military brass band playing Hail to the Chief, while a chorus of cherubic children singing along. There are dozens of third-tier celebrities and every low-level foreign dignitary that can be scraped together on short notice. Melania and Ivanka are there, their sheath dresses tight and faces tighter. Junior and Eric are hitting exactly the right combination of filial pride and beta-male obsequy. Barron's eyes are shining, but that could just be the medication.

In the front row, news cameras wink as Nancy Pelosi hands Trump an engraved pen with his name, the date, and the name of the bill carved on it. When Trump signs the bill, synchronized doves are released on the White House lawn, the Blue Angels fly over, and the entire White House press corps rips open their button-downs to showcase vintage Apprentice t-shirts. A color guard marches out with a box made from the U.S.S. Constitution to carry the pen away. It will be mounted and hung in the China Room, which has been covered in 24 karat gold, features a statue of Trump giving the thumbs up next to a bit of the Eternal Flame from Arlington cemetery, and is full of empty frames waiting for the next special pen. marine corps ball dresses

We'd have universal health care in a month.