wedding dresses for fat brides

1. Show me a girl
with one boyfriend and I will show you a
long sleeve bra.
2. Seriously, if you are short, please marry a
tall person, I'm tired of changing bulb for my
neighbor and her husband.
3. If you don't have money, you will be the
one who opens fanta with your teeth for
everyone during family meetings.
4. "I will take a bullet for you", says a guy
that cannot take ordinary paracetamol
without putting it inside Eba.
5. Jesus fed 2700 women and he never
want anything from them, but you, yes you!
You bought a girl ordinary phone and you
want to enter ther, are you not mad?
6. Is making another girl laugh cheating?
Please I need your answers oo, I'm about
being single again, my bae said I'm
committing Funnycation.
7. I hate it when Facebook couples
disappear after a breakup and says nothing
to us the Facebook in-laws, after all our
8. Bride price should be based on Breast
after all, watermelon is expensive than
9. Girls are so wicked and selfish, how can
you deny me of a hole you didn't drill?
10. My sister..
If you go with your girlfriend to your man's
house and the dog doesn't bark at her..
Wisdom! My sister I say wisdom!
11. The kind money I want to have ehh!
Even if I come late to my traditional
marriage, my in-laws will apologise, they be
like "Our son, we are sorry you came late, it's
our fault, we woke up too early".
12. The way fine girls are behaving nice to
me this days ehh, I feel like having one, but
this virginity till marriage is a MUST for me.
Argue with your father's children.
13. Dating an insecure and jealous guy is
not easy oo..
BF: babe, where are you
GF: I'm at home.
BF: doinq what?
GF: I'm frying plantain.
BF: Ok, fry one lemme hear the sound.
14. Girls that wear heels to an event and
come back with slippers don't last long in a
relationship, they can't endure for long.
15. Guys, if a lady visits you and you gist, eat, wedding dresses for fat brides
watch a movie and she returns home in
peace without sex, will you die?
Some girls will be like "Itzfwesh tell them
oo", but you girls, when did your boyfriend's
house become a cinema, give him what he
want jhoor!
16. I was beaten by a woman in an elevator
today. I was staring at her breast then she
said "Would you please press one", I
thought she was talking about her breast.
17. My first time of toasting a girl.
Me: shiii! Fine girl, shiii!, I grab her hand
from the back.
Girl: who are you?
Me: Don't you know who I be? I'm from dis
state mehn, this right here is messed up,
back in the states, we don't take shit from
nobody, you got dat?
Then I turned around, I couldn't see her
18. I hate it when going to put offering in
church and one fat girl keeps dancing
forward and backwards like MTN network.
19. The road to heaven is narrow.
I pity those that are fat.
Lemme mind my business sef
20. Seriously, after smokers, the next people
who are liable to die young are those who
don't mind their business.
21. You are calling a school reunion because
you have a car, you want to see me jumping
out of Keke abi?
Thunder fire you there, Idiot!
22. "Cum inside me" and "Don't worry, I'm
safe". These phrases has made guys pay
bride price they didn't plan for.
23. Glo weldone o!
I have to sit at the edge of my bed, turn a
little to the left and open my mouth before
network enter my phone.
24. Girls with big brezz are going to heaven.
Its not even a debate, so don't argue.
25. This one that I'm seeing wedding
ceremony everywhere, nobody should
mistakenly marry my future wife oo.
26. Girls will shave their eyebrows and leave
their armpit hairy..
Please is that shifting cultivation or bush
27. Guys, sometimes God leave you to be
broke so you can focus on one lady, because
once you get small money, you won't allow
anything wearing skirt to rest, small thing
28. I'm nt that kind of guy who rush into
dating another girl immediately after
breakup, I wait for at least 10 minutes
before I start a next relationship.
29. No body keeps in touch than a girl you
promise to send her money, she can even
appear in your dream.
30. Don't call a guy "Baby", unless you are
going to give him brezz to suck.
Guys, are u with me??
31. Teacher: Class, write a story which you
less than 300 words.
Everybody started to write, I didn't write but
folded my arms.
The teacher approached me..
Teacher: Itzfwesh, why are you not writing?
Me: Aunty, They killed me immediately the
war started!
32. Ask for my account number or my shoe
size or my clothe size, not "How are you"..
Everytime, I'm not fine, I need money.
33. No one is as humble as someone coming
to buy on credit. She will be like "Answer
your customers first, I'm not in a hurry"
34. It took me 5 hours to compose this
jokes, and you say you will read without